Carol Paschall is a 'Compassionate Friend'

  • Published
  • By Philip Lorenz III
  • AEDC/PA
ARNOLD AIR FORCE BASE, Tenn. --   -- There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -- Albert Einstein

Carol Paschall says she counts every day as a blessing -- each one is another opportunity to make a positive difference in someone's life. However, she would be the first to admit she didn't always look at things quite that way.

In 1999, she and her husband, Lamarr, lost their 4-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, to a post-surgical infection complicated by symptoms of an extremely rare and serious genetic disorder known as Cardiofaciocutaneous Syndrome.

"I think you have to live every day like it could end at any time," she said. "They say that everyone has a purpose in this life. I've found that helping others deal with the death of their child is what my purpose is.

"Losing a child changes you. You become a different person - and the only people who can understand are other people who've lost a child - that's why it's really important to talk with others who've been through that experience."

An Aerospace Testing Alliance senior administrative assistant at Arnold Engineering Development Center's Hypervelocity Tunnel 9 at White Oak in Silver Spring, Md., Mrs. Paschall said her life changed in ways she could never have anticipated.

Because of Elizabeth's medical problems, Mrs. Paschall was already participating in a support group for parents with special needs children. After her daughter's death, she joined Compassionate Friends, an international non-profit organization that offers understanding, hope and friendship to families grieving the death of a child. The organization helped her cope and go through the grieving process.

"In 2002, I started facilitating our group," she said. "It got to the point where I thought, 'I can do this and help other people with the grieving process.'"

Mrs. Paschall is also on the local chapter's steering committee and works with United Way, of which Compassionate Friends is a member-affiliated organization. Reflecting on her own life, Mrs. Paschall said the journey has taken her on some unexpected twists and turns.

"I went to college not knowing what I was going to do and after a year I chose Geography as my major and really enjoyed it," she recalled. "Once I got out of college, I worked as a map analyst on government contracts.

"I worked on projects for the U.S. Geological Survey and the Census Bureau and managed other projects. Projects and contracts end, and if you like where you're working, you move on to other areas, in my case, into administrative work."

Mrs. Paschall hesitates before describing her duties at Tunnel 9, where she has worked since October 2000.

"I do a little bit of everything," she said. "I work with the financials and the budget for the jobs here at Tunnel 9. I track the financial info, purchases, and the test schedule. I am a member of the safety committee and the property coordinator."

She said working at Tunnel 9 is a great experience, partly because of the small workforce.

"It's a close-knit group here," she said. "We have a really good staff. In fact, we were just talking about that this morning, there are a lot of people here who have some other connection - for instance, there are two other people at work who attended the same high school I did. There are other staff who grew up in the area like I did. You don't expect it to be like that in Washington, D.C. since so many people move here because of government jobs.

Greg Wannenwetsch, who is Mrs. Paschall's supervisor, said she possesses skills that don't always show up on a resume.

"When we hired Carol, we were looking for an approach to people as much as we were looking for a set of technical skills," he said. "At AEDC White Oak, we want people with the skills we need -- how to run a wind tunnel, how to track financial resources, etc. That's only half of the equation. The other half is an ability to make a connection with customers and co-workers so they will value us now and in the future.

"As a member of our administration team, she, along with her other team members, are responsible for taking as much of the administrative burden of running White Oak off the backs of the technical staff as possible. That's absolutely key in allowing our technical staff to concentrate on delivery of the high caliber technical performance our customers expect and value. Carol not only helps us deliver an excellent technical product, but she leads us in providing an environment where customers and employees alike feel good about being here and working together."

Bill Betz, an ATA systems technician at Tunnel 9, said Mrs. Paschall's dedication to the mission provides an example for her coworkers to follow.

"The work force at Tunnel-9 is a conglomeration of many technical and resourceful individuals," he said. "Besides her administrative talents, Carol is very perceptive to our operational needs and frequently offers practical and efficient solutions as to how to get thing done. She's never too busy to solve someone's problem - Carol is the glue that holds all of it together."

Outside of work, Mrs. Paschall continues to help other grieving parents go through the healing process.

"The first thing you have to do is pay attention to your own health," she said. "Your loved one is gone, you're still here and you can't do anything to change that. You still have to try to function. I've found that talking about your feelings and what's going on really does help. It makes a difference to know that you are not alone in your grief journey, so find someone who will listen."

"Bereaved parents want to talk about their child who has died. The most important thing that you can do to help as a friend or family member is just listen."

Mrs. Paschall and her husband live in Dunkirk, Md.